One of the ideas we've sometimes toyed with - living as we do in something of a recreational paradise - is the idea of buying a set of holiday cottages and marketing them as writers' retreats. I'd do a little light cleaning of the cottages in between guests while Dave just got on with his writing - perfect. Or for real isolation, how about a little cottage on an island in the middle of our beloved Georgian Bay? That really would be total peace and quiet- nothing but the sound of crickets and the lapping of waves. We drop our writers off by boat; if they need anything, all they have to do is pick up the telephone, and we arrive laden with all the essential supplies - bottle of wine, chocolate, maybe a notebook or two...

That was the idea anyway; but when we'd thought about this a while, our enthusiasm waned. Would budding authors really pay to stay somewhere that is being marketed specifically to writers? Would such a niche market really work? Well the answer, judging by the amount of people who are already using this idea, is a resounding yes.

But looking more closely, I find that most of these so-called retreats aren't my idea of a retreat. They involve group activities, workshops, maybe the horror of forced participation in creative writing exercises, when surely all you really want to do is curl up in a secluded corner and write the next chapter of your novel. They use words like 'coaching' and 'instruction;' sounds too much like school to me.

Anyone who's watched the fabulous Jeeves and Wooster adaptation with Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie, will remember Rocky, the poet, holed up at his cottage on Long Island, whiling away the day in pyjamas, and occasionally – very occasionally - being inspired to think up the odd line of poetry. He didn't want to be bothered about 'doing' things; he just wanted the time alone to write.

How would Rocky cope at the 'The Writer's Retreat'? Not too well, I suspect. 'Participants should expect to work intensively, spending as much as 6-7 hours a day with the group, ' says their site. Plus, on registering for the retreat, you're also expected to outline your plans for your stay. Plans? – surely not.

To me, these sorts of organised group holidays, beneficial as they may be, just don't fit the idea of a writers' retreat. Perhaps the market could stand a few more vacation paradises with their promises of uninterrupted tranquillity, allowing you to write what you want, when you want, and not according to anyone else's schedule. Hmm, now where did I put those property listings…?